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Thanksgiving Satire

posted Nov 17, 2017, 6:52 AM by Jeffrey Wolf   [ updated Dec 18, 2017, 4:51 AM ]

By: Katelyn Dano, Staff Writer

Posted November 17th, 2017

Thanksgiving is a beautiful fall holiday; families give thanks, everyone is bundled up, and food is served. The food is tasty, overzealous, and grand. However, the turkey is the star of the show. On the other hand, no one asked if the turkey WANTED to be the star of the show.

One day the pilgrims and native americans decided to have a party, and serve TURKEY. Did they ask if the turkey wanted to be in the middle of the table stuffed with stuffing? No. That turkey could’ve had a family or a girlfriend. Life was cut short for him.  Maybe they could’ve used the pig for ham, but the turkey became the popular food for Thanksgiving.

All the prepping that turkey has to go through is just over the top. There’s sitting in hot water with spices. It has to sit there for HOURS. Then there’s the stuffing of the stuffing, how much stuffing could a turkey stuff stuff? Too much stuff. The bread is overbearing. All the gravy get slathered on and it’s just obnoxious. The turkey has to go through so much just to look good for those hungry families.

So in short, appreciate your turkeys. They do so much to make your day great.

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